Dialogue is one of my strong points in writing, but in real life I often sputter over my words.  When trying to talk smack to my husband, he'll say, "Should we go instant message each other so you can come up with some decent retorts?"  Daniel is great at real life dialogue, and that's probably why I excel at writing it, but every now and then I can be funny, too.  Here's a couple of our conversations from this morning that I got a kick out of:

Dan is excited about getting HDTV today.  "Even Sponge Bob will be in high definition!"

He's going to have to try another way to get me excited.  "I don't care about either Sponge Bob or HD," I say.

Dan gasps.  "Please rephrase your comment so it doesn't break my heart."

I rephrase.  "I hate them."

Then we were talking about a meeting that we have to attend on Monday and who we should hire to babysit the kids.  This gets me much more excited than HDTV.

"We can make it a date!" I suggest, thinking we can add dinner and a movie to our evening.

Dan gives me a blank stare.

"Remember those things?" I tease.

Yes, it all sounds silly now that I write it, but I enjoy silly.  ;-p  You'll see when my books come out.

 

A friend just wrote and asked for writing advice.  He has an editor interested in one of his novels, which adds pressure to his writing.  He said, "My writing scope feels inadequate to the task."  I know the feeling well.  And after I wrote him back, I decided I need to keep my words of advice for myself.  A good reminder when I lose focus.  Maybe you all can be encouraged by them as well:

This is what I suggest.  Feel free to write garbage for the first draft.  Feel free to take risks.  Turn off your mental editor and write from your heart.  Then when you get to the end, read books like Writing the Breakout Novel and apply them to your story.  Bravely slash the stuff that doesn't work.  Add in new twists, deeper conflict, and tangible emotion.  Tie it all together as best you can.  Then hand it over for critique to writers you trust.  Let them slash and suggest.  Take their feedback and use what feels organic to your story.  

Whatever you do, don't lose the passion. And Pray.  Make yourself humble.  Lift it up to God.  Dance for joy because of the opportunities He's granted you.  Revel in the knowledge that God is going to use you in ways you can't possibly imagine.

Then get ready for rejection.  Take it in stride, knowing that it's not a reflection of your worth.  It's simply one step closer to a dream you've allowed yourself to follow.  Being willing to take another step is the mark of true success.

So I won a scholarship from Cec Murphey to attend a writer's conference in May.  I'm already stalking all the presenters who will be there--just on Facebook, so don't worry.

My ACFW chapter awarded a couple scholarships to our IDAhope Writer's Conference last month.  The best essay entry was from a woman who lives in a shelter.  She compared her desire to have her writing published to the desire of a little boy who caught a big fish and is not strong enough to carry it far enough to show anybody.  I learned a lot from her humility.  Beautiful.

Here's an analogy of my own.  Writing a novel that no publisher will buy is like training for a race, setting up on the blocks, then finding out the starter pistol is broken.  I've had a few too many false starts.  Now I'm ready to run.  Thanks, Cec!

Three summers ago I met my critique partner Christina Berry at the Oregon Christian Writer's Conference.  This past weekend she came out to Idaho to speak at the IDAhope Writer's Conference.  See, she sold her first novel, so now she's on the other side of the table.  :-)  I'm so excited for her that I want to tap dance.  

The Familiar Stranger comes out in October.  It's about a man who gets amnesia in a car accident, then gets a second chance at the life he'd previously messed up.  It will keep you guessing.  And yes, you can judge the book by its (dynamic) cover.

So, my novel is coming out next spring or summer.  I was working on it tonight, and I stuck a real life story into it.  I can't tell you what happens in the book, but in real life my Dad promised my grandmother that if she rafted down the Icicle River with him, she wouldn't get wet.  Dad let her sit up on the back of the raft, and he stayed close to the bank.  Unfortunately, that meant when he rounded a bend, an overgrown bush was able to knock her backwards and head first into the water.  I wasn't there, but all my family saw after the splash was my grandmother's feet sticking out of the water.  She got pneumonia from the incident, but she's okay now.  Hi Grandma!  Thanks for inspiring my writing tonight.  I love you. 

I wrote this poem in high school.  It was published in our school newspaper over thirteen years ago.  I'd like to think that I've grown up and matured since then, but sometimes things don't change.

Sometimes

Sometimes I fit in.

Sometimes I stand out.

Sometimes I am sure.

Sometimes I have doubt.

Sometimes I am hidden.

Sometimes I take center stage.

Sometimes I roam free.

Sometimes confined to a cage.

Sometimes I can't stop laughing.

Sometimes I cry myself to sleep.

Sometiems I want to rise to the top.

Sometimes I'm afraid the road's too steep.

Somtimes I fall in love.

Sometimes I hate it all.

Sometimes I know who I am.

Sometimes I can't recall.

I gave an author talk in Jordan's class today.  We played a game where I had the kids all try to write the first line of the same book.  I then mixed up their sentences with the original, and they had to vote on which one they thought was the real first sentence.  (If you read my last blog, you'll see a trend in the games I play.)  I also showed the students pictures from my scrapbook that inspired some of my stories.  Then I got to read some of my stories, too. 

Fouth grade is fun.  They get my jokes.  I love seeing their smiles and hearing them laugh, knowing it's because of the words I wrote.  

NAKED BABY ON THE RUN is usally a class favorite.  Jordan's favorite is now SPY BABY--I caught him spying on his sisters the day after I read it to him.  And I loved the reaction I got from just the title THE SIBLING S.W.A.T. TEAM.  I hope that someday I have illustrations to go with these manuscripts.

The local ACFW chapter I started--IDAhope Writers--had the last meeting of our first year this week.  It was our best meeting yet.  I'm so blessed to be a part of such a neat group.  Let me share the reasons why.

1. Adam Graham announced that he had part of his political blog published in Mike Huckabee's book, Do The Right Thing.  His name is even listed in the bibliography.  This book is ranked as a best seller on Amazon.  How cool is that?

2. We had a visitor, Vlad, who moved here from Russia.  He had three books printed in Russia and is hoping to translate them to English and sell them here.  They have international settings, and one was even a bestseller.  The cool part?  The people who made Pirates of the Caribbean were talking to him about making a movie out of one of his books.

3. There is also a guy in our group who writes a hunting/fishing column for a variety of newspapers in the Northwest.  He suggested that I write a column for young moms, and he'll have one of his friends translate it into Spanish.  He believes there is a big need for it in our area, and he wants to help me pitch it to his editor.  This isn't a dream of mine the way writing fiction is, but it's an open door.  And not only was I a young mom, but I started a MOPS for teenagers here in Boise.  I'll have to get to work on some sample columns this weekend.

4. My Vice President and Treasurer gave me flowers.  I gave them cute little Christmas ornaments that read: Always Have Hope.

5. We played a game where we divided up into two teams.  Each team had to pick five books and write new first lines for each of them.  Then the teams took turns reading both the original line and the rewritten line.  The other team had to pick which line they thought was the real one.  The game ended in a tie, but we decided that everybody in our group can write better first lines than the authors of the books we used.

6. We had a tie breaker to our game and the winning team each got $5 off registration for our conference in January.

7. It looks like I'll be president for another year, which is a really good thing because I need to make up for all the clueless mistakes I made this year.  Anyway, we've decided that we will have ten meetings next year--one a month from Feb.-Nov.  Every other month we will have a guest speaker, and in between speakers we will meet for a critique group.

I'm really looking forward to another year of IDAhope. 

Siri Mitchell has always been a favorite author of mine, so I was excited to read her latest book--A Constant Heart.  Here's the blurb from the back:

In the court of Queen Elizabeth...

LOVE is a curse,

FRIENDSHIP is bought and sold, and

TRUE LOVE is the unpardonable sin.

Will Marget risk everything for the man who's captured her heart?

This book is truly unique.  It's written from his and her perspective, both in first person, and it's a love story not a romance.  As for the history--it's all news to me.  The three words I would use to describe it are: unexpected, haunting, and powerful.

My interview with Siri can be found at www.shoutlife.com/angelameuser.  Leave a comment for a chance to win a copy of this beautiful book.  I'll pick the winner on Friday.  And even if you don't win, you'll still definitely want to get your own copy.

I got rejected today.  This is nothing new.  In fact, it's getting pretty old.  But getting rejected is what makes me a writer.  Otherwise I'd just be a dreamer.

Anyway, I decided to cheer myself up.  I went in search of chocolate.  And on the way to the store, I looked around and realized that my life could be a lot worse.  I made a list of things I'm glad I don't have to deal with.  Here it is:

1. I'm glad I don't have to wear a sombrero and stand on the corner with a sign advertising a burrito sale.

2. I'm glad I don't have to drive a pink Toyota Tercel.

3. I'm glad I've never had my car stolen with my two-year-old still inside.  (This was a story on the radio, not something I actually witnessed.)

I then used my list to plot a story, of course.  

So if there are any editors out there reading this, and you might be interested in a manuscript about a woman in a sombrero who has her pink Tercel car-jacked while her toddler is still inside, send me an email.  Otherwise, I'll just start Hershey's Kissing my pain away and get back to my work-in-progress. 

In a writer's group we had to write down our top five favorite movies.  Mine are:

The Counte of Monte Cristo

You've Got Mail

Hitch

Ever After

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Then we had to find a common theme.  Do you see it?  (Besides in the title of this post.)  The characters all have a hidden identity.

From there we had to look at our own writing and see if the theme is in our work.  Guess what.  It is!  I'm writing a romantic suspense about a woman whose family went into the witness protection program when she was twelve.  Sixteen years later she ends up working for a man who had been her childhood playmate.

This made me think about how much I've always loved the hidden identity theme.  My absolute favorite book is The Scarlet Pimpernel.  (If you've never read it, you need to pick up a copy.)  My favorite Nora Roberts novel is Sweet Revenge--about a modern day princess who doubles as a Robin Hood type character.  (Another book for you to buy.)  And Pretend You Don't See Her (also about the Witness Protection Program) is my favorite Mary Higgins Clark mystery.

As for Bible stories, I've loved Joseph and Esther since I was little.  I'm reading about Joseph again right now, and it's had me in tears.  I can just feel the inner turmoil.  And I love how he uses a translator when talking to his brothers so they don't know he can speak Hebrew, and they talk right in front of him.  Brilliant!

Anyway, I don't know what this says about me--the whole hidden identity thing.  I just find it kind of interesting.  And it gives me lots more ideas for novels.   

I'm a finalist in the Stiletto Chick Lit contest!  One judge even gave me a perfect score, and she said she's never done that before.  Now I have to revise before a winner is picked by an agent and editor.  

This is so exciting.  Wish me luck!

On a writer's email group somebody just posted the question: What is your favorite thing about writing?

Most people said, "I like sharing God's message," or, "I like to see what the devil intended for bad to be used for good through my ministry."  

Yeah, I love that part, too.  But my favorite thing is embarrassing my characters.  It makes me laugh and gives me great joy.  For example, not only do I have the personal trainer gain weight, but she splits her pants on a date, and then the black lights at the cosmic bowling alley cause her white underwear to glow in the dark.  Of course she eventually finds spiritual value from all this.

One writer responded that she likes me because I'm looney.  Nobody else seemed to appreciate my response.  But hey, I was being honest.

What gives you great joy? 

Years ago when I was telling Tracey (a dynamic woman from my church) about my writing, she suggested that I should try writing monologues.  I forgot all about it.  Then last year she suggested it again.  That night I got up from bed with an idea and couldn't go back to sleep until I wrote one.  Tracey loved it.  Then she told me that she is starting a women's ministry and she wanted me to write a series of Christian monologues similar to "The Vagina Monologues" for her to perform.  I was overwhelmed, but started considering possibilities.

Back in college I took a creative writing class.  It was terrible.  I wanted to write rhyming picture books and the student teacher wanted me to write about stoning, suicide, etc.  To satisfy us both I wrote a short story of seven high school girls who each envied the next one.  The last envies the first to complete the circle of envy.  So, for my monologues I decided to write seven women with different problems who each think the next one's got it made.  When the last envies the first, the first then comes back out and shares the message of hope that God has given her, thus offering hope to each of the women.  

I didn't mean to make it "The Potty Monologues", but the first woman is a young mom on the toilet, alternating between talking to the audience and yelling at her kids outside the bathroom door.  She then breaks into song: "I just can't wait to go pee" to the tune of The Lion King's "I just can't wait to be king!"  (Picture background dancers waving toilet paper as Mommy kicks her legs from the pot.)  From there each new woman shared her toilet trouble--bulimia (barfing in the toilet) to caring for an aging father (the need for adult diapers.)

I just finished the monologues tonight and I'm so excited to see them performed.  Tracey has been asked to take the stage at the Boise State Christian Week this month.  Then in October she'll be performing at the women's conference she's starting.  www.sistersync.com  

I pray that God will use my writing, but this is never what I would have expected.  And I need to thank Jenster for writing the cancer monologue.  I'm sure she'd also agree that God has used her in ways she's never expected.  She's a living example of the hope I want our monologues to offer.  Sometimes life seem to get flushed down the toilet, but if we believe in God there will definitely be beauty from drain.  (Pun intended.)

I want to be Melody Carlson when I grow up.  She has written over 200 books, from picture books to young adult to chick lit.  I got to take her coaching class at the Oregon Christian Writer's Conference--awesome.  

Melody was so encouraging.  She's even endorsing my novel, Lighten Up, as "Delightful.  Witty.  Funny."  Beats the endorsement I got from Judy Cox for my middle grade novel, The Water Fight Professional: "More fun than licking a slug."  (That's actually a good thing--you have to read the book to understand.)

For a fundraiser, our youth group moves flocks of fifty flamingos from house to house.  For $10 you can send them to somebody's front yard and that person has to buy flamingo "insurance" to have them removed.  We bought the best insurance, which guarantees the flock will fly away within 24 hours.  We did this because other members of the church love to send them to us.  I think we set a record last year for having the flamingos in our yard the most.  It's pretty funny the looks we get...like from the guy who came to turn on our sprinklers and asked, "What's going on here?"

The funniest thing is that an older woman (my daughter calls her "the girl with the white hair") had the flamingos in the yard of her mobile home.  When the youth group went to retrieve the birds, neighbors called the police and our youth group leader got pulled over.  It took him a while to convince the cop that he was a leader in our church--he has an afro pierced ears. 

This is so going in my next novel.  The main character will be trying out church for the first time and will be shocked to see a kid in a flamingo outfit greet her at the front door--a kid really did this at our church to advertise for the fundraiser.  Anyway, I can see her and the guy who lives in the other half of her duplex sending the flamingos back and forth to each other.  

Who are we going to send the flamingos to next?  I think we decided on a church council member who is also a school principal.  That should get his neighbors talking.

For spring break we went to Portland to welcome back my brother-in-law from Iraq.  He showed us his pictures, and the coolest thing (I thought) was that his group of Marines adopted a little kitten.  They would take it in their Humvees with them and it would eat the same meals the Marines ate when they were out on a "special op."  I actually want to write a creative non-fiction piece about it for Highlights Magazine: THE MARINE WHO MEOWED.

Speaking of writing, I've been really disappointed in the new episodes of my favorite TV shows since the writer's strike.  Earl was ridiculous.  And on CSI:NY the interesting plot ended with a basic chase and gun fight--cliche and anti-climatic.  You'd think the the writers could do better than that after their "break".

Back to my brother-in-law, I sent him on a "special op" of my own yesterday.  See, my in-laws have been planning to remodel their kitchen for a while, so I decided to enter them in the DESERVING DESIGN contest on HGTV.  Scotty is supposed to take pictures of their kitchen for me so I can send in the entry.  

If I was the judge I would definitely pick my in-laws to win.  They use the kitchen tons--canning vegetables, cooking a hot breakfast almost every morning, and even mixing cookie dough to bring with them when they visit us so they (my mother-in-law to be specific) can bake us fresh cookies.  Yum.  As for deserving to win a new kitchen, my in-laws came back from their mission in Africa to adopt their orphaned nephews.  They then raised five boys on a teacher's salary and just recently became empty nesters.  It's been a hard transition with the death of a parent and then Scotty leaving for Iraq on top of that.  They volunteer at church, work with troubled youth, and have coached many sports teams. Oh, I hope they win.  

At Jordan's last Upward practice, my husband (the coach) had the 3rd and 4th graders play against their dads.  It was great fun.  The dads were so much bigger that they could block with their legs.  They were jumping up and down like monkeys while guarding and basically just slapping the ball around and slam-dunking (on the nine foot rim).  

The boys took it so seriously at first.  They were as aggressive as Tazmanian Devils out there, but the dad's kept goofing off.  One dad put his son on his shoulders so the kid could dunk, and my husband stole the ball and dribbled across the court while carrying Jordan under his arm. 

Then one boy fell on the ground and started crying.  When the dads stopped to see what was wrong, he jumped up, stole the ball, and made a basket while calling them all, "Suckers!"  After that the kids lightened up.  Another boy kept having the ball stolen while he dribbled so he just picked up the ball and ran for the basket laughing hysterically all the way.  

It was a blast to watch--and a memory I know they will never forget.  Now my job is to make this story into a poem for Chicken Soup for the Basketball Lover's Soul.  Any ideas? 

I once read a trilogy of romance novellas based on fairytales like Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast. I've always wanted to rewrite The Scarlet Pimpernel with a modern day female protagonist so I'm working with my agent to put together a trilogy of romantic suspense novellas based on the classics of literature. The Scarlet Fingernail is my favorite idea so far. What do you all think? What kind of catchy, contemporary titles can you come up with for Robin Hood or The Counte of Monte Cristo?

I also have to add here, that my daughter had a great idea for a story of her own. She wants to write Puppyhontas--a puppy Pocahontas. How cute is that?