I wrecked my new minivan.  So I called my husband's friend (who owns a body shop) to schedule an estimate.  He laughed at me.  "Why'd he laugh?" you ask.  Alright, here goes...

Last year, within one month I ran into two Hondas.  Only one was totaled, but that one ($35,000) caused me to lose my insurance coverage.  Funny thing is that it only cost $500 to fix the bumper on my Suburban.

I once turned into my subdivision and didn't even realize that my Suburban clipped the corner of the car in front of me.  The driver chased me down, cussed at me, then admitted that I hadn't done any damage to his vehicle.  I forgot to mention this to my husband but was reminded when the guy showed up at my door (must have searched for my Suburban in the driveway) and apologized to Dan for getting so upset when I hit him.  Needless to say, Dan was speechless.

And here's the big one.  When seven months pregnant with my first child, I blacked out while driving on I205 in Portland, Oregon, drove off the side of the road, hit the ditch, rolled back across the freeway, hit the divider, spun across all lanes once again and got hit by a Semi.  This one was actually a miracle, because I had glass down my shirt, but not a scratch on me.  The hand of God protected both me and my baby.

Go ahead and laugh along with my body shop owner.  My husband does.  He likes to demonstrate how not to crash into the car in front of him or warn me if there is a Honda coming when I'm driving.  "Watch this," he'll say.  "I'm going to wait for that car to pass before I turn left."  Or, "Notice how I keep my eyes on the road when I'm driving."  

Alright, alright.  I'm going back to Driver's Ed.  For real.  Dan is sending me to save money on insurance.  But I doubt this class will be as fun as the one I took in high school--where our instructor could have been a stand up comedian and we ordered pizza when we got hungry.  Hey, I wonder how well my former classmates are driving.